Perfectly CON-Tent: HAL-CON 2013

 
Greetings, Fellow CON-Testants!

I had a couple of minor hiccups at HAL-CON last year, mainly centered around entitled dweebs armed with Warp Passes and well-meaning but militant volunteers trying to annex our free-play game tables. Neither of these niggling issues were enough to deter me from procuring a three-day weekend pass for this year.

In fact, these tiny glitches were nothing compared to the irritants which plagued some attendees at this year's event. If ticket-holders made the mistake of pressing "SNOOZE" on their alarm clock Saturday morning or if you kept tabs on HAL-CON 2013 in the media as a spectator, you probably already know what I'm on about. Personally, I can only comment on my own individual experience.

And I have to say, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that this was my favoritest HAL-CON evar!

"Stay awhile and listen and I shall regale thee of my tale of high adventure..."

FRIDAY

Andrew picked me up at my place just smidge after noon. I had to get him to back-track up into Bayers Lake so that I could pick up a few new digital video tapes.

To future-quote Jewel Staite: "Tapes. Remember tapes, guys?"

Yep, I bought my video camera back in 2008, which might as well be the Mesozoic Era in technology terms. At that time, on-board digital storage and memory cards were still in their infancy. Ergo, I had to snag some extra tapes for my camcorder before heading down to the World Trade and Convention Center. Given the scarcity of the damned things this is becoming an increasingly-difficult prospect.

While I was waiting for my first mandatory event of the day, I spent some time roving around the convention floor. With my happily-fed video camera cranking away, I captured the panoply of sights, sounds and yes, smells of HAL-CON whilst casing the expansive vendor section for some choice acquisitions. As you can well imagine, the time just flew by and the next thing I knew it was time to meet up with a childhood hero.

Now, I've already ranted at length about how impactful Star Wars was to me as a kid, but let's face it, the adventures of Luke, Han and Leia were few and far between. The wait between 1977 and 1980 was a long and protracted one but mitigated considerably by the appearance of Battlestar Galactica in theaters here in Canada.

The brainchild of producer Glen Larson, Battlestar Galactica posited that the race of man first originated "amongst the stars". In some distant past, the human race has been engaged in a protracted struggle against the Cylons, a population of murderous automatons who've been trying to wipe out all organic life in the galaxy. When the Cylons extend an unexpected offer of peace, the twelve human colonies jump at the offer, anxious to bring an end to a thousand years of constant warfare.

The most vocal olive-branch skeptic is Adama (Lorne Greene), a decorated war-hero and the Commnader of the titular Battlestar. True to Adama's predictions, the Cylons shatter the temporary truce and during the resulting Pearl Harbor job the human race is all but extirpated. All that remains is a "rag-tag, fugitive fleet" led by the Galactica. Their goal: to find a planetary promised land known only as "Earth".

Lured in by the spectacular trailers on television I was one of the few kids lucky enough to see Battlestar Galactica in theaters in 1978 at the tender age of eight. I was completely blown away by the Viper ships, the Raiders, the Galactica, the Basestars, the insect-like Ovions and the creepy, mechanical Cylons. As amazing as all of this visual spectacle was, I was also engaged by the movie's human element.  

Richard Hatch's Captain Apollo was at the core of the film's emotional heart. Despite losing his brother, his mom and his wife to the Cylons, Apollo's resolve never wavered and his moral compass was always set to "Paragon". As an idealistic young kid, he was definitely the character I identified with the most.

Needless to say, it was pretty cool meeting Richard Hatch. In addition to getting his autograph, Richard subjected himself to a guerilla-style interview, the results of which can be peeped right hur.

Well-spoken, affable, and relentlessly enthusiastic about his past and future endeavors, Richard was a delight to talk to. His infectious positive aura virtually assured that I'd be attending his Acting Workshop later that evening. Leaving Andrew to engage in a four-player game of Firefly, I stole away to the "Clockwork Room" and grabbed a seat in anticipation of Richard's arrival.

Immediately I was thankful that many of my fellow conventioneers decided to show up and there was a respectable amount of butts in seats. There's nothing more awkward then going to one of these workshops only to find yourself in what amount to a midnight screening of After Earth. That's just sad.

Then, from out of nowhere, local Hali-famous actor Rhys Bevan-John, plunked down into the seat next to me. I absolutely love this guy. Earlier that day, in a move perfectly in step with the rest of the costumed masses, Rhys was strutting around the convention hall in his "Best Of" cape and crown.

I don't blame him for being proud. Just a few days earlier Rhys was named "Best Male Theater Actor" in The Coast's annual "Best of Halifax" survey. I saw him play the lead in Shakespeare By The Sea's performance of Hamlet that past summer and he (along with the rest of the cast) were uniformly awesome.

When Richard arrived it looked as if he was dressed for winter, bundled up in no less then four different shirts and/or jackets. Can't say that I was surprised; during our interview he'd scoffed at my casual reference to the weather as "mild". In fact, I think he characterized the temps that day in Halifax as "Arctic-like".

It wasn't long before Richard started shedding some of those heavy layers of fabric. Dude's a very dynamic orator and if you ever get a chance to see him speak in any capacity I highly suggest you do so. Over the course of the next hour-and-a-half Richard offered up some tremendous insights into the business of acting, auditions, self-motivation, encouraging the creative spark, avoiding career pitfalls and parlaying personal experiences into effective performances.

The workshop concluded with a gloriously loopy improv session featuring a pair of brave aspiring actresses, one playing a put-upon hospital supervisor and the other posing as a drug-addled janitor (!). Things got even weirder when Rhys was thrown into the mix as a stern-but-inexplicably-merciful manager. Just as the scene started to come together we had to stop.

Honestly, I could have stayed there for another two or three hours but the room was booked for "Adventures with Vampires and Publishing". *Pffffttt*, as if there isn't already enough of that crap around!

On the way out I congratulated Rhys on his terrific showing in Hamlet and asked about his recent starring role in The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. When Rhys gave me a quick demonstration of his transformation scene I promptly kicked myself for missing out on what was surely another bravura SBTS production. Go see more live theater, kids! It's a blast!

By the time I got back to the games room, Andrew had pulled out a win in Firefly and also played a few games of Mr. Jack Pocket with a friend from work named Fraser. The three of us then broke out the awesome co-operative game Hanabi and by the time that game was over it was definitely time to pack it in for the evening.

All told, it was a great first day. We'd gotten the lay of the land, Andrew had played a bunch of games, I'd met and then hung out with a childhood hero and the crowds were pretty sedate. Not too shabby.

But then there came:

SATURDAY 

I faced another early rise the next day but I really didn't care. I knew that it was going to be a crazy day and I wanted to get down there early. I pitched at the Starbucks on Barrington Street around 9 am and waited for Andrew and Mike to turn up like a pair or bad pennies. In a stroke of synchronicity, my friend Chad, his wife Jeanette and the rest of their enthusiastic clan stumbled in to get their caffeine fix. We discussed strategies for the day and then prepared to wade into the fray.

With Andrew and Mike delayed, I decided to hike up to the convention center in order to establish a beach-head in the games room. In retrospect, this was probably a good move since the place was already starting to fill up. One major reason for this was the fact that the vendor section was open to the public, which I think inspired a lot of people to buy day passes right there on the spot.

In fact, my own significant other, who is usually leery about attending crowded and sometimes, shall we say, aromatic events like this, even trolled through the merch section with me for awhile. She picked up a gorgeous, elaborate-looking, Steam-punky watch while I got a fabulous deal on two awesome board games.

That's when we ran into two more friends, Sabina and Mark. Although Sabina's HAL-CON attendance was never in doubt, Mark had declared days ago that he wasn't going because of the crowds. He changed his mind at the last second when Sabina managed to procure a free weekend pass through work. Although this awesome spate of good fortune proved to be irresistible to Mark, the shoulder-to-shoulder throngs of colorful humanity probably did nothing to cure his agoraphobia.

Seeing the crowds rise like the water line over the bow of the Titanic, Sabina, Mark and I decided to retreat to the gaming room on the third floor. We waited there until Mike and Andrew showed up and then promptly left them behind. I'd been so busy with writey-type stuff leading up to HAL-CON that I didn't even have a chance to look at the schedule. Having Sabina there was great because she knew exactly what, when and where things were transpiring.

As such, she urged us to get down to the Main Stage about an hour early to score a good vantage point for the Billy Dee Williams Q&A. This worked out great because I arrived at the perfect time to capture Richard Hatch's presentation which I wasn't even aware has going on at the time!

During the subsequent half hour and change, Richard shared his views on narrow-minded studio execs, the dearth of speculative fiction on television, and how current technology provides creative freedom. Oh, and he also gave the attentive crowd plenty of insight into both incarnations of Battlestar Galactica as well as his forthcoming web-series The Great War of Magellan.

  

After watching this it's not hard to see why Richard is one of the most sought-after acting coaches and public speakers on the convention / lecture circuit right now.

With the imminent arrival of Billy Dee Williams, the Main Hall became as jam-packed as a Hyundai crammed with drunken university pledges. In fact, it got so crowded that it prompted a funny exchange with a couple that was standing next to me. 

"Wow, can you imagine what would happen if the fire alarm went off right now?" they observed.

"Oh, God, it'd be total anarchy," I replied. "The average Dexterity score for most people in this room is probably only around five or six so just picture a thousand of Hans Moleman's kids trying to get out of here all at once."

The wait, and the encroaching tide of humanity, was quickly forgotten when the Coolest Dude in the Galaxy™ walked out on stage. Over the course of the next forty-five minutes, Billy Dee Williams charmed young and old, male and female alike, regaling us with stories about The Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi, Tim Burton's Batman and Robot Chicken. 

For pop culture nuts such as myself it was also great to hear him reflect on his celebrated artwork, his challenging appearance in Brian's Song and his debut on stage in The Firebrand of Florence at the tender age of seven. By the time he called a fan a "double-crossing, no-good swindler" at their request, we were all collectively wrapped around his finger:

    

The thing that resonated with me the most was when he likened himself to Holden Caulfield in J.D. Salinger's Catcher in the Rye, a character who naively floats through life, having random adventures and innocently getting into and out of trouble. You can see this yourself at the fifteen minute mark of the video.

"Even at my age at this stage in my life I'm pretty naive about a lot of things," he told the enthralled masses. "I was so protected as a kid growing up that I kind of found myself bumbling through life." 

Amen, brother.

When the Q&A was over, I lost Sabina and Mark in the resulting tsunami of bodies. While inching my way through the shoulder-to-shoulder crowds I first began to hear fleeting references to "over capacity", "fire marshal" and "clearing the building". About around that same time I bumped into Chad who told me that his kids had left the convention center to get lunch and couldn't get back in. Although it pained them to do so, Chad and Jeanette left to collect them knowing that they weren't going to get back in. Needless to say, a day pass refund would be in their future!

I finally managed to claw my way to the escalator and get back to the Games Room on Level Three. I briefly re-united with Andrew and even managed to get in a fleeting game of Mr. Jack Pocket before I had to take flight. 

I'm glad that I had the foresight to bring my own lunch with me. After our game was over I bypassed the concession stand on the same floor and then eked out a spot in the impromptu dining area where I wolfed down my home-made ham sammich, pausing occasionally to capture a few incredible costumes on video.

Oh, by the way, I despise the word "cosplay" with the fire of a million suns. Dressing up like an elf is goofy enough without giving it an infantile handle like "cosplay". Sounds like some sort of weird sexual fetish involving Cliff Huxtable and a Jello Pudding Pop. I actually had a great costume that I could have worn but if someone asked me what I was "cosplaying" as I probably would have beaten them to death with a plastic tricorder.

After scarfing down my lunch like a gluttonous anaconda, I scrambed down to the second floor, knowing that my window of opportunity to meet Billy Dee was drawing to a close. I jumped into the lineup and ended up having an extended yarn with the dude standing behind me who, in addition to being a Star Wars fan, was also a big horror nut. We both expressed our desire for a dedicated horror convention here in Halifax. 

"Yeah, wouldn't that be great? Especially if they got someone like Bruce Campbell as a guest? God, I'd freak right the f#@k out!" he confessed.

"Oh my God, that would be so friggin' awesome," I gushed. "I'd be a complete mess if I ever met Bruce."

Like a couple of 'tween girls talking about One Direction, we spent some time affirming our mutual love for The Chin. Then, when he told me that he'd met Texas Chainsaw Massacre star Gunnar Hansen at "Summer Fear" in Tatamagouche a few years back I was nearly overcome with jealousy.

"Dude, there's only one Leatherface, and that's Gunnar Hansen!" I maintained, having just re-watched his performance for a recent blog entry.

Also in the lineup was an uber-dedicated Mom who was looking to get her son's Lando Calrissian action figure signed.

"So your son couldn't be here? Is he studying for exams or something?" I asked.

"Oh, no," she replied. "He's a software developer for Valve in Washington. But when he heard that Billy Dee Williams was going to be here in Halifax he wanted me to meet him and get his action figure signed!"

And the "Mom of the Year" award goes to...

That's the great thing about coming to events like this. Even if you find yourself waiting in a barely-moving lineup, you'll find no shortage of awesome people to talk to, the lion's share of whom have built-in interests in common with you.

Meeting Billy Dee Williams was a real treat. I swear, if I could hop into a time machine and go back to around 1981 and tell L'il Dave that I'd be meeting one of my cinematic idols I'd probably plotz.

I do have one minor gripe about the way his autograph booth was set up, however. I've been to enough of these signings by now to know the drill off by heart:

1. You wait in a big-ass line-up. 
2. You eventually get to meet the person at the end of said lineup.
3. You get to exchange some brief pleasantries with the person at the end of the lineup or heap some barely-comprehensible gushing praise on them.
4. You hand over the crap your brought along so they can notarize it or get them to sign one of their free 8"x10" glossy photos laid out on the table in front of you.
5. You get the f#@k out of the way post-haste for the other hojillion people nervously tapping their feet behind you.

But Billy Dee's set up was kinda odd. As you slowly began to approach the goal line, there was a large table set off to the right which bore all the available signature swag. When I tried (and failed) to pick up my chosen 8"x10" my weary brain eventually told me that the damned thing was taped securely to the table. Noting my confusion one of my line-mates leaned over and said:

"I think they're all up at the signing booth," she said, indicating a large wooden box set off to the side which resembled a low-fi filing cabinet.           

So, naturally, when I got up to the table I started to flip through the box to find the photo I wanted to get signed. Suddenly Billy Dee's assistant turned towards me and offered the following admonishment:

"Okay, you don't touch that," he said sternly. "I can find it for you. Which one do you want?"

For a second there I almost expected him to produce a ruler and whack me on the knuckles. After making a concerted effort to wipe the glare off of my face I indicated which 8"x10" I wanted Billy Dee to sign. Even though I'd deliberately held off until the tail end of the signing in a vain effort to avoid the initial rush, it was still pretty damned busy. As a result I didn't a chance to talk to Billy Dee very much.

I started by giving him a gift. Knowing that he was still catching heat from Star Wars "fans" for Lando's "betrayal" of Han Solo, I'd made up some joke flash cards that he could just hand out to people instead of wasting his breath:

This quote is actually taken from an interview that Billy Dee did with Wired in which he explained, in his own words, what Lando was up against. Cripes, even at the time as a ten year old kid I completely understood why Lando did what he did. After all this is Darth freakin' Vader we're talkin' about here!

The flash cards seemed to amuse him and I even got a chuckle out of his assistant. While Billy Dee signed the 8"x10" we had a chance to talk shop about art. I told him that my dad is a visual artist and how awesome it was to come home from school every day to see how his paintings had progressed. We also talked about his own formative arts-based education, a stark contrast to my crappy High School which cherished math and science above everything else.

But alas, a signature line-up waits for no one so I quickly thanked him, bid him farewell and then stumbled away with my newly-acquired treasure.   

As I slowly beetled my way out of "The Cave of Wonder" (more like "The Cave of I Wonder How I Get The F#@k Outta Here?!?") I was lucky enough to bump into Sabina and Mark, who'd found another mutual pal Angela. After "Ooooo"-ing and "Awwww"-ing over our new acquisitions, Sabina jumped into the autograph line-up for J. August Richards. When she returned from that encounter she was positively beaming. By all accounts, he was one of the most approachable and genial guests of HAL-CON, something I came to realize myself later on that same evening.

"Much love?" What the hell were they talking about over there?!?!

I briefly returned to the Games Room where Andrew had gotten himself immersed in the Pathfinder Adventure Card Game and Mike was embroiled in a heated match of Battlestar Galactica. At an event as jam-packed as this year's HAL-CON there was certainly no rest for the nerdy. Up next was Jewel Staite's Q&A which was set to begin at 2:30 pm sharp. Again, to make sure that we got a decent seat, we went down about forty minutes prior to the big event.

And its a damned good thing we did. The halls were still completely choked with bodies and the air was rife with rumors about people being turned away in droves at the door. When Angela's boyfriend Matt left the premises to get his equipment for a demo with the Society for Creative Anachronism, his re-entry was in doubt for the longest time. It was really scary when scuttlebutt seemed to indicate that we'd all be evicted from the premises and the entire event might get shut down.

But there was no confirmation of this as I staked out some standing room in the Main Hall. Regardless of how many people were packed into that place, the audience became downright reverential as soon as Jewel Staite took to the stage. Winsome, smart, funny, candid and more then a tad cheeky, Jewel immediately captured the hearts of everyone within earshot.

She covered all the bases and then some, dishing about her work on Higher Ground, Firefly, The X-Files, The Killing, Stargate: Atlantis, The L.A. Complex and even talked about her preferred super-power, the rewarding world of food bloggery, the insane world of Nathan Fillion and the joys of cooking bacon in an oven.

It's a darned good thing that I'd left my bags with Sabina and Mark. Wisely, they'd ducked out just prior to the end of the Q&A, beating the resulting crush of humanity that followed. Since I was videotaping fairly close to the stage, extricating myself from the room proved to be a Herculean effort. 

Mercifully, I found Sabina and Mark right off the bat. They'd expertly located the proper place to queue up for Jewel's autograph and I quickly joined them at the back of the budding line-up. During the subsequent wait, we had plenty of time to recant the many highlights from Jewel's entertaining Q&A and concluded that she'd be an absolute blast to have a drink and shoot the shit with.

And let me tell ya, folks, if you think that Jewel exudes scads of charisma on screen as Kaylee in Firefly or as Jennifer Keller in Stargate: Atlantis, well that ain't nothin' compared to meeting her in person. Knowing that she maintained an excellent food-related blog and had already patronized a few local eateries I opted to steer clear of any typical questions and go the foodie route.

As she signed an 8"x10" for me I couldn't help but needle her a little bit on the subject of haute cuisine.
   
"So, Jewel, y'know...there are people in this world who think that food is nothing more then something you stuff in your face to make hunger go away."

Upon hearing this she stopped what she was doing, lowered her pen and then fixed me with a steely glance.

"Those people are idiots," she said, half-joking and half dead-serious. 

"Whoa, whoa!" I protested, holding my hands up to ward off her mock ire. "I totally agree with you! In fact, since you already mentioned The Bicycle Thief I have a few more suggestions for you!"

"Oooo! Wait! Hold up!" she said excitedly, reaching for a conveniently-located pad of paper. "Okay, shoot!"

"Alright, so right across from The Bicycle Thief in Bishop's Landing is Ristorante a Mano, another great place for Italian food."

"Ristorante a Mano. Okay, check, I got it."

"Now, I also know that you're a huge burger fan."

"Oh, yeah! Now we're talkin'...whattaya got?"

"You need to check out Ace Burger."

"Ooo! OooOooo! Where's that?"

"It's down on Agricola Street. Now, be warned, at face value the place can look a tad...divey."

"I don't mind," came her plaintiff and emphatic reply.

"It's in Gus's Pub. And let me tell you, it's to die for."

Jewel stopped scribbling for a moment.

"Can I walk there from here?" she asked. When I made the mistake of hesitating for a beat she promptly turned to her assistant asked the exact same question. 

After assuring her that a cab ride would be well worth it, I thanked her and told her to enjoy the rest of the Con. She replied in kind and I strode away with yet another unique story and one shiny autograph.

I quickly located Sabina, Mark, Angela and Matt and collectively we all tried to puzzle out our next move. 

Even though it was just shy of 5 pm we were all getting pretty pooped. I'd been on the go since 7 am so I almost packed it in when Sabina and Mark said that they were getting out of Dodge. But since Angela and Matt were sticking around, I decided to stay for the J. August Richard's Q&A at 6 pm. And, man, am I ever glad that I did.

As Richard Hatch mentioned during his talk, Cons can be pricey affairs where your wallet starts to hemorrhage money as soon as you pass over the threshold. You really need to pick and choose who you get autographs from and photos with and what to buy in the vendor section. It's a constant struggle.

I'm saying this as a prelude to the following statement: I gotta meet J. August Richards one of these days. During his stellar Q&A he answered a slew of audience questions about Angel, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., Arrow, Gray's Anatomy and, hell, even Goodburger fer cryin' out loud. Somehow karaoke, Star Wars, board games and superhero stuff also crept into the mix. As you watch this video just take stock of how genuine, enthusiastic, warm and friendly this guy is.        

One of these days I hope to meet the guy, if only to tell him that he delivered my all-time favorite line in all five seasons of Angel. It came during the second-season closer "There's No Place Like Plrtz Glrb" when Wesley and Gunn were facing certain death at the executioner's block:

Gunn: I got a plan.
Wesley: Oh, thank God! What is it?
Gunn: We die horribly and painfully, you go to Hell and I spend eternity in the arms of Baby Jesus!

This took us up to 7 pm; way past my anticipated check-out time. Even Andrew and Mike had retreated to play games in relative peace back at Chad's place. Although periodically I'd been forced to battle against the tide of humanity, I left that night feeling perfectly content about how things had gone down. In fact, it wasn't until I got home and popped onto Facebook when I realized just how bad things had gone for some people that afternoon.

Regardless, I got myself prepped for Day Three, hoping that it would be a much more casual affair that was chock-a-block with board gamey-goodness. 

SUNDAY    

To paraphrase Emperor Palpatine: "everything transpired according to my desires" on Sunday. This time there was no mustering at Starbucks; I just made a bee-line for the first open gaming table I could find and pledged to sit there on my ass all day and play games. When Mike and Andrew joined me not long after I proceeded to fulfill the crap out of that humble goal.

As such, I played Jaipur, Forbidden Desert and something vaguely resembling Lost Legends. I also had a football-sized roast beef sandwich that I'm probably still digesting Sarlaac-style. I also took fleeting video of some awesome people in some very cool costumes.

And then I went home and I was sad.

EPIC EXPERIENCE  My video love letter to this year's HAL-CON.

EPIC GUEST Going back to my point about J. August Richards, you really have to pick and choose who you want to meet at these things. Given a second chance I would have gone out of my way to meet the incredibly classy and selfless Peter Davison. I started to pick up on the man's indelible qualities when I was waiting in the lineup to see Billy Dee Williams. Even then Peter was going well-above and beyond the call of duty with everyone he encountered.

As a neophyte Dr. Who fan, my experience with the character is woefully limited to the current modern iteration of the show which kicked off in 2005. Well, no more. I'm going rectify this personal deficit and seek out every single episode featuring the fifth Doctor, Peter Davison.

When he heard that scores of cold and frustrated fans were unable to get inside, Peter took it upon himself to go out, mingle with them and take a bunch of photos. With so much money flying around at these sort of events it's pretty easy to get jaded but with amazing guests like Peter in attendance, you really can't go wrong.

The Seward Clan were delighted to meet legendary Time Lord *slash* class act Peter Davison.

P.S. Who fans old and new owe it to themselves to watch Peter's fantastic short film The Five(ish) Doctors Reboot. It's rife with awesome cameos, self-effacing humor and plenty of great in-jokes.

NERD RAGE FAIL  Now, I know that a lot of folks had a very trying time of it this year, but I can only judge HAL-CON 2013 by my own experience and my own experience was nothing short of spectacular.

Having said that I can also sympathize with fans who were barred from entry on Saturday. I can only imagine how frustrating it would have been if I'd made the pilgrimage to Halifax from some remote corner of the Maritimes, rented a hotel, and got down to the convention center around noon after wrangling the kids only find out that my entry was barred. 

Let's face it, selling day passes without a specific date on them wasn't very swift. Having said that, throwing the vendor section open to the public was actually a pretty smart move in theory if not in practice. I have a sneaking suspicion that when hordes of curious shoppers swarmed the first floor they probably thought: "Wow, this is awesome! Let's get a day pass and check out the costume contest!" The result: "Stern-Faced, Lantern-Jawed Fireman" quickly became the most popular costume at HAL-CON that day.

Having said that, I can only accompany people down Frustration Avenue only so far. When apoplectic displays of internet rage in the form of "legal action" or verbal and physical threats get bandied about, then I'm afraid you and I have to part ways. If you think that the organizers of HAL-CON deliberately wanted to over-sell the venue, incur the wrath of the Fire Marshall, piss off a bunch of fans and issue a metric shit-ton of refunds, then your Stormtrooper helmet's on waaaaay too tight.

By the contrary, the HAL-CON gurus have always seemed like a reasonable and well-intentioned bunch of dedicated volunteers. In fact, they've always taken the time to personally address and rectify every single issue I've ever publicly voiced via this blog over the past few years. I'm willing to wager dollars to 'droids that next year a finite amount of day passes will be earmarked for each day of the Con.

We need to view this for what it is: growing pains for an event that continues to expand by leaps and bounds every year. If attendance was dwindling, HAL-CON was on life support and the chances of it coming back next year were looking bleak, then I'd be worried.

PERSONAL FAIL Man, I really wanted to meet Monte Cook but there was JUST...TOO...MUCH...TO...DOOOO!!! Please come back, Monte!!!  PLEASE!!!    

"CONNNNN!!!" II: The Awesome-ing

Hey, all youze Convention Crawlers!

Simply by providing an abundance of open-gaming tables last year the organizers of Hal-Con ensured that everyone in my circle of friends would be going back.  In fact some of us were so impressed that we made a point of getting passes for two days instead of one.  

But as I was perusing their website two Fridays ago, I began to worry that they'd scaled back this consideration.  As such, we decided to forego our traditional pre-Con breakfast on Saturday morning in lieu of registering early, getting a jump on the long line-ups and finding a place to pitch.  This allowed one member of our esteemed Fellowship, Sabina, to scout ahead and reserve a spot for us.

I have to say, the organizers did a fantastic job this year improving line-up efficiencies.  They had a metric shit-ton of folks helping with registrations, which really helped to expedite the admissions process.  In fact, it didn't take very long for the rest of us to re-united with our dauntless scout.  This gave us plenty of time get our bearings and ponder what board games we should roll out first.

This year the gaming area of Hal-Con was on the third floor of the World Trade and Convention Centre.   The dedicated floor space was impressive and the library of check-outable games was pretty comprehensive.  On the down side, our paranoia regarding the availability of open gaming tables turned out to be somewhat justified.  At face value, it looked as if there were only six free play tables and the rest was set aside for organized tournaments and game demos.

"Only six 'freeplay' tables?  WTF!?"

The first table we snagged could only seat five or six people so we quickly Borg'ed a larger playing surface that could accommodate double that number.  After all, at any give time we could have Andrew, Sabina, Mike and myself as well as Chad and his entire family playing games all at once.  We really needed all the space we could possibly eke out.

While Mike and Andrew took a quick inventory of the vendor room, Sabina and I reviewed our schedules and pondered what our first game should be.  Given that the signature session with John Rhys-Davies was happening within the hour, we really didn't want to get into a lengthy game that we couldn't finish in time.  In fact, we silently hoped that Mike and Andrew would be back in time for us to get away.

During this time a well-intentioned but slightly militant Hal-Con volunteer came up to our table and started to cross-examine us:

HER:  "Hi, are you going to be playing board games here?
ME:  "Um...yeah."
HER:  "Are they board games that you bought here?"
ME:  "Well, yes. (Lying!) We've got a couple of friends down in the vendor section right now."
HER:  "Okay, but did you check with anyone to make sure that it was alright for you to play games here?"
SABINA:  "Well, I'm pretty sure that the map in the convention guide said that these are the 'free play' tables."
ME: (Lying, again) "Plus I did check with a couple of people and they said that it was okay for us to be here."
HER:  "Oh, okay!  Sorry, I'm new to this and I'm just getting the hang of things myself!"

Now before I go on my rant, I want to declare that the Hal-Con volunteer staff was nothing short of amazing.  But just like every other Con that includes board-gaming in its curriculum, I should be permitted to bring in my own previously purchased board games, play the crap out of them and meet with some of my fellow local gamers.  Especially if I paid thirty bucks a day for the privilege of being there.   

Look, unless I'm standing on top of a table with my pants down around my ankles inviting people to check out my "Warhammer" then you really need to make like Luke in his landspeeder and "move along".  

Mercifully Andrew made our occupation completely legit by coming back from the vendor room with a board game called Lords of Waterdeep.  After that, I decided to tempt fate somewhat by setting up a little guerilla-style promotional display for my book.  Self-whoring is fun!

"Um...sure I paid a booth fee."

     
After that I had a chance to poke around for a little bit.  After video-bombing some of the exotic-looking board games being set up, I checked out the awesome array of Dungeons & Dragons paraphernalia assembled by local RPG group "The Gelatinous Dudes".  After that, I rummaged through the vendor section, snagging a copy of the Star Wars: X-Wing Miniatures Game from Mike at Monsters Comic Lounge.  Hooray for tax-in game dealz!

When I got back, Sabina and I made a bee-line for the autograph session.  Although I was super-excited at the prospects of meeting John Rhys-Friggin'-Davies, Sabina was positively beside herself.  Her natural abundance of nervous energy was clearly heightened by her T.V. co-workers, who were milling around with cameras and threatening to videotape her meeting with the highly-revered actor!

Just a quick word about John Rhys-Davies.  He's easily one of the most recognizable character actors of our time.  In addition to portraying weighty historical figures like King Richard in Robin of Sherwood, Vasco da Gama in the mini-series Shōgun and Macro in I, Claudius, John has also served as "Fellowship of the Ring" charter member / spokes-dwarf Gimli in The Lord of the Rings trilogy, General Leonid Pushkin in Bond flick The Living Daylights, Professor Maximillian Arturo in the classic sci-fi T.V. show Sliders and (my own personal favorite) master excavator and archaeological sidekick Sallah from Raiders of the Lost Ark and Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.

While both of us inched ahead incrementally in the lineup we encountered yet another irksome phenomenon: entitled arseholes armed with "Warp Passes".  I can only assume that these things were premium-priced tickets that let self-important jerkstores blast through autograph line-ups and snatch up front-row seats at events.  Well, I gotta tell ya, this might sound like a good idea in theory but in practice it's a f#@king pain in the nacelles.

There was one particularly oblivious social reject* who decided (on a whim, apparently) to blow through the line-up and cut in front of Sabina.  The moron didn't even have anything ready for John to sign, he just felt like exercising his authoritah to put the rest of the world on hold.  The really funny thing was that John noticed that this clown was holding up the lineup.  Eventually he 'shooed' the guy away with a wave of his hand, flashed a look of bemusement and then encouraged Sabina to ignore him and come on over.

The item that Sabina tabled was a Lord of the Rings poster featuring John as Gimli in full dwarven regalia standing slightly behind Orlando Bloom as Legolas.  After John realized that it was futile to sign such a huge poster with a standard Sharpie he pulled out a marker the size of a lightsaber hilt and went to work.

After noticing that Legolas was the more dominant figure on the poster, John suddenly thundered: "Oh, that Orlando Bloom!  Here, I'll sign for him!"  He then proceeded to scrawl a big "O.B." on a Post-It note and plaster it right over Legolas's pretty-boy mug.  YES!!!

I couldn't help but watch Sabina as she drifted away from the encounter, looking slightly dazed.  But when I heard that famous baritone voice declare "Hello, young man!" I quickly snapped back to attention.  I looked up to see John flash a genial and approachable smile while he bade me to come over.  After a quick reality check, I confidently strode up and shook his hand.

Without a doubt, John was one of the nicest celebrities that I've ever encountered.  Our meeting was a genuine moment of quid pro quo; for every question I asked of him, he asked one of me.  As he signed by 8" x 12" picture of Sallah he asked about what I did for a living and I told him that I was trying start up a career as a writer.  He then asked what I wrote about so I told him about my book and this blog, as well as my entertainment and tabletop gaming sites.  The opportunity to talk about this gave me the perfect in-road to ask him about his first trip to Nova Scotia as well as Gimli's accent and what it was like working with the delightful Denholm Elliot in Raiders and Crusade.  

If I ever have to go on an archaeological dig, I'm totally bringing my old buddy Sallah.  

Boundlessly impressed by John's approachability and his warm and friendly demeanor, Sabina and I wandered back to base camp, just in time to witness Andrew and Mike polishing off a game of Sentinels of the Multiverse.  All of us then indulged in a few games of Saboteur, which turned out to be a simple yet highly-strategic card game.  Taking advantage of the time between turns, I roamed around the main floor with my video camera, trying to document all of the board games, RPG's, video games, writers, artists, vendors, displays and amazing costumes!  Surely no easy task.

By the time we finished up our overtime match of Zombie Dice, Sabina and I had to hustle downstairs to take in John's Q&A.  By the time we found the right place there was already a pretty sizable line up.  As we slowly filtered into the massive Main Stage room we noticed that there were several rows of empty seats right up front and that most of the floor seats were already occupado.  As such, both of us moved to stand just behind the last row of chairs, content to remain at attention for the next hour in exchange for the clear view.

But then we heard an open call for Warp Pass holders to help themselves to any of the empty seats in the first two rows!  After a small handful of people took up this offer, the volunteer staff did what they could to shift the already-seated folks closer and accommodate as many of the standees as possible.  As you can imagine, this was comparable to herding a bunch of catnip-intoxicated felines.

As seats suddenly became available towards the back I made the single most idiotic decision of the entire weekend: I decided to sit down.  Man, I wish I could hop into a Tardis and go back to prevent myself from making such a stupid call.  At the time I thought that I could just lean out into the aisle or hold my camera aloft to get a clear view of the stage.  Unfortunately, by plunking my ass in that fateful seat I ended up fumbling a video capture opportunity of a lifetime.   ARRRGGGHHHH!!!

We sat down with a reasonably clear view of the right hand side of the stage.  Unfortunately, John sat to the left and when fans began queueing up to the microphone to ask questions, my line of sight became totally blocked!  For awhile I tried holding the camera over my head, but my sad, frail, Gollum-like limbs gave out on me within a few minutes.  Then I tried shooting between all of the craning heads and costumed headgear but invariably someone's melon ended up in the way.

Then I tried standing up but it was already too late.  Every decent vantage point had been snapped up and I certainly wasn't going to block anybody else's view.  Begrudgingly I took my seat again only to have someone's kid start wailing on cue right behind me.  Awesome.

I'm still haven't forgiven myself.  The previous year I was in the perfect spot to capture Nicholas Brendon's Q&A.  That year there were no accursed Warp Passes and Sabina and I managed to nab front row seats just as the Kag Kanada Klingon assembly began to break up.

I've since written this debacle off as a highly egregious learning experience.  Unless I can somehow score front row seats, next year I'll just find the best possible vantage point and shoot from eye-level while standing up.  Particularly galling to me is the fact that John's Q&A had some really amazing highlights, including a wonderful moment where he lapsed into full Gimli rage mode!

Here's everything that I managed to cobble together from my paltry footage.  Excuse me while I don the Cone of Shame.      

Hey, if anyone out there captured the entire Q&A, drop me a link and I'll "EPIC" it below with a credit!

After everything wrapped up 'round 3:30, Sabina and I slowly inched our way through the throng of people to our table.  We played another game of Saboteur, this time with Matt and Chad, and then finished the day with the "Escape in the Truck" scenario from Last Night on Eath: The Zombie Game.

Another thing that kinda sucked was the fact that Hal-Con fell on the last weekend before Halloween and I was committed to go to a costume party.  This meant that I had to leave Hal-Con early Saturday night and miss the Nerd Army / Paul & Storm concert which was slated to begin at 6:45 that same evening.  Oh well, I guess that's the way the dilithium crystal crumbles!  

But going downtown turned out to be a really fun time.  We went to the Lower Deck's annual Halloween party and spent most of the night trying to guess what people were dressed up as.  Needless to say, more than one Hal-Con refugee drifted into the bar that night:

Little know fact: when not looking for droids or shooting at rebels with appalling poor accuracy rates, Imperial Stormtroopers can often be found at local cantinas playing air guitar with their blaster rifles and bobbing their helmets to crappy Bruno Mars songs.

Knowing that I had an early rise the following morning, I played the role of designated idiot and abstained from drinking copious amounts of Guinness.  Nevertheless, I still got home around 2 pm and subsequently experienced a genuine system shock when my alarm clock went off at 7 am the next morning.  Motivated by the promise of yet another blissful day of geeky revelry, I dragged my sleep-deprived carcass out of bed, got cleaned up, had a snack, grabbed my fun bag (?) of games, jumped in the ole' Ninjamobile and hauled ass down to the Dork Tower.

I arrived at our muster station (the Starbucks on Barrington Street) way ahead of everyone else.  As I waited for my peeps to arrive I hit upon a stellar idea: since I didn't have my entry bracelet for Sunday yet, why not take a dart up to the convention center, get registered and run back in time to meet up with everyone else?  Brilliant!

Ah, no.  When I got up there I learned to my disbelief that the registration desk wouldn't be open until  9 am along with everything else.  I thought about sprinting back to Starbucks but then I remembered  what Sabina had gone through on Saturday in order to secure a table.  Since she wasn't there to help us again, I decided to stick it out.  Unfortunately I had no way to get ahold of my party and inform them of the brilliant scheme that my caffiene-deprived brain had cooked up.

When 9 am finally rolled around, I rushed the registration desk, got my bracelet, ran to the back of the entry lineup, rushed up two floors and parked my ass at the very same table that we'd used the day before.  Even still, I had to fend off threatened incursions from other gamers.  Eventually my posse gave up on waiting for me and walked up to the convention center.  Imagine their surprise when they came off the elevator, rounded the corner and saw me siting there as if I hadn't moved from the previous day!

Honestly, Day Two at Hal-Con was a complete and total blur.  I know that I picked up a copy of the Dungeon! board game from Mike at Monsters Comic Lounge.  I know that we played a slew of board game (like Lords of Waterdeep, Magic: The Gathering, and Small World Underground) and that they were all so friggin' engrossing that I completely lost track of time.  I know that the schedule that I'd so lovingly assembled and printed off for myself completely fell by the wayside.  The next thing we knew it was 5:30 pm and time to get the f#@k out!      

Notwithstanding my complete and utter failure to document the Q&A's, I still had an absolute blast.  In fact, we all enjoyed our time at Hal-Con 2012 so much that most of us have already commiteed to being there for all three days next year!

I just need to strike a better balance between my board gaming and all of the cool organized activities that are constantly going on.  Next year I'll pay more attention to the major events and sneak in the odd board game during my "down time".

But then there's another philosophy: Hal-Con is an awe-inspiring tsunami of pure, unadulterated geekery which you really should allow yourself to be swept up in.

In fact, to go into something like this with an agenda or a work ethic is almost anathema to the whole giddy, disorienting experience.

NOT-NEARLY-AS-EPIC-AS-ACTUALLY-BEING-THERE  Here's my humble l'il video ode to Hal-Con 2012:

FAIL  Trust me, I saw nothing at Hal-Con that even came remotely close to these cosplay disasters.

*P.S. FAIL  The same mouth-breather that tried to cut into the autograph line-up in front of Sabina kept surfacing.  At one point in time, he actually attempted to weasel his way into one of our in-progress games.  When we told him to go pound sand, he spent the next few awkward moments rummaging around in Andrew's game collection and mauling the stuff we'd purchased in the vendor room.  Dude would make an awesome TSA agent.