The ol' Eee Cee Pee is back...just in time for the next Federal Election on Monday, October the 21'st!
In this short-n'-sweet entry I'm gonna reveal why I'm voting with my head and not my heart...but you might not have to!
This post, in part, is inspired by all of those lovely folks on Bookface who are shitting on Justin Trudeau without ever admitting that Andrew Scheer exists. This is likely because they’re secretly ashamed to publicly admit that they intend to vote for a soulless, Ayn Randian, Objectivist, socially regressive, corporate thimbot who’s entire political career is more U.S. Republican and less PROGRESSIVE Conservative.
For me, every word and deed from Scheer and his ilk just drives home the fact that they're all a bunch of Alliance and Reform scumbags with the serial numbers filed off.
As someone who's actually voted Progressive Conservative in the (distant) past, I can't vote for this current incarnation of the Conservative Party in good conscience because they go against my personal definition of what it means to be Canadian. And as much as Justin Trudeau has screwed up and disappointed me, my memory of Stephen Harper is still waaaaay too fresh in my mind to ever vote for another ethically bankrupt Conservative creep.
This post is also inspired, in part, but all of the sweet, naive, idealistic young people out there who are all like "Fuck the status quo! I'm voting for the Flying Yogic Party!"
Hey, don't laugh, kids! That last one used to exist. In fact, I actually voted for them one year on a lark.
Look, your optimism is all well and good. Trust me, I'd like nothing more than to vote for Elizabeth May's Greens. But, since Justin Trudeau decided to fuck us all by reneging on his campaign promise of election reform, likely out of an instinct for self-preservation, I still can't vote with my heart. But you might be able to.
So, how can I determine this, you ask? Well, just follow these two easy steps:
(1) Follow this link and plug in you postal code to determine your electoral district. For example, I just confirmed that I'm in the Halifax-West riding.
(2) Google the name of your riding, look up the Wikipedia page and scroll all the way down to the "Election Results" header. It's here that you'll see the voter history of your area.
To follow through on my example, my riding has voted Liberal in the past four elections. Great. Unfortunately, the runner up in these same contests has been whatever white-bread Miracle Whip sandwich the Conservative Party has decided to proffer up on my doorstep.
Now, if things had continued to trend like it did back in 2008, when the Liberals were first and the NDP was second, I would merrily vote NDP or Green with a song in my heart. But because the Conservatives are the historic runners-up in my 'hood, I'm gonna hafta vote Liberal in the next election.
Now, I know that's a bitter pill for some of you out there to swallow, but, hey, hate the game, not the player. Honestly, until we get rid of this antiquated "first past the post" bullshit and evolve to a more progressive and fair proportional representation process, there's absolutely nothing you can say or do to convince me to vote otherwise.
I also have a memory that goes back more than four months. I remember back in two-thousand-ought- ought when hordes of crusty, old Conservative a-holes came out in droves to vote for their single option while progressives fractured their votes between the Liberals, NDP and Greens. The result? While the majority of folks voted for a change in government, our screwed-up political system handed Harper's Conservatives the full reigns of power with only 39% of public support.
Sorry, but if I have to limit my options in order to prevent a blatantly-reptilian, Parseltongued choad like Andrew Scheer from becoming our Prime Minister, I'll game this shit outta this crooked system until the flying yogic cows come home.
EPIC "SEPARATED FROM THE NEST AT BIRTH" MEME:
FAIL: Just because we've had something forever, it doesn't mean that it's good.