Sunday, April 29, 2012

I Wish...

  • ...that I was motivated by money.
  • ...that I didn't possess a shred of creativity.
  • ...that I liked making co-workers look bad so that I could look good.
  • ...that I was devoid of imagination. 
  • ...that I was terrified of what people thought of me.
  • ...that I wanted an iPhone.
  • ...that I could work for an unethical company without losing sleep. 
  • ...that I could be content watching network television all the time.
  • ...that I'd never travelled anywhere.
  • ...that I only ever watched mainstream news.
  • ...that I didn't like to read.
  • ...that I liked processed food.
  • ...that I enjoyed f#@king people over for a percentage.
  • ...that I had absolute, unwavering faith in my own beliefs, regardless of conflicting evidence. 
  • ...that I could spawn a litter of kids without thinking about it.
  • ...that I liked Nicki Minaj, Rascal Flatts and Bruno Mars.
  • ...that I was 100% right about everything all the time and everyone else was wrong.
  • ...that I defined success by how much stuff I owned.  
  • ...that I didn't follow politics.
  • ...that I was a fan of movies that all have the same ending.
  • ...that I liked to text.
  • ...that I had fashion sense and liked spending money on clothes.
  • ...that I cared about Kardashians, Bachelors, Divas, Dancing, Home Renovation and Orange-Colored Idiots.    
  • ...that I was convinced that things can never change or get any better.  
  • ...that I was obsessed with sports to the detriment of everything else.
  • ...that I could be happy while being house poor.  
  • ...that I could drive an SUV in good conscience. 
  • ...that I thought there was no-one else on the planet except myself.
  • ...that I didn't think about where shit goes after I throw it out.  
  • ...that I had an interest in personal finance.  
  • ...that I could blissfully fritter away large chunks of my life making money for people who don't know that I exist. 
  • ...that I felt obligated to force my faith and morality on other people.
  • ...that I could feel a sense of righteous indignation whenever someone less fortunate then me gets some much-needed help.   
I wish for all of these things because I think it would make life a lot simpler.  

EPIC:  Be warned, if you click on this you run the risk of complicating yourself.  

EPIC SHIRT:


EPIC DAD  Mike's back and he's droppin' science, yo.

FAIL:  Terrific, we now live in a era in which politicians equate mind-expansion with snobbery.  I wonder why?   

1 comment:

Michael Chiasson said...

I wish the world would wake up and understand that complicated things are cool.