Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Mission Statement

Hello, Loyal Literary Loiterers.

Well, here we are, at the 100'th post of You Can't Get There From Here!  Seems like just yesterday I voluntarily walked away from my last job for the sake of my own sanity.  I'm not sure what I've accomplished since then but if ever there was an appropriate time to take stock in what I've done thus far (and what I intend to do for the next 100 posts), this seems like just as good a time as any.

First off: a word about the title.  Originally I wanted to call my blog You Can't Get There From Here, mainly because if it was ever turned into a book (and subsequently a movie, natch!) I'd already have a title.  Even better yet, I'd have a theme song!  Don't believe me?  Well, here it is:

If you've read any of my previous 100 posts, then you already know that I'm a huge music nut who believes that life needs a solid soundtrack.  In this little ditty, R.E.M. perfectly encapsulates a sensation that a lot of us must deal with in our adult lives: the terrible sensation that if we stay our current course we'll never get to where we've always dreamed of going.  As a result, the song advocates some pretty decisive action:

When the world is a monster
Bad to swallow you whole
Kick the clay that holds the teeth in
Throw your trolls out the door

Much to my chagrin I couldn't use this name for my blog since some clown (who's likely only done about six posts by now) had already laid claim to it.  What the hell was I going to call this thing?

At the time I was thinking about picking up a video capture device since I have tons of VHS tapes rotting in the storage closet.  In fact, they still are.  It's my goal one day to digitize those suckers and upload some of the more cherry clips to YouTube.  I've got some rare home movies, footage of major events that occurred in Halifax up to fifteen years ago, snippets of hard-to-find television bits, live performances from bands and also some video I personally shot at a sci-fi convention where I met Brian Thompson, who portrayed the alien bounty hunter from The X-Files and Dave Prowse, the actor that played Darth Vader in Star Wars.    

So I guess the "Capture Device" part was already stuck in my brain at the time.  The "emblogification" bit is an entirely "Whedonesque" construct.  For those sad souls who don't know what I'm talking about when I use that adjective, here's a bit of background info... 

If I had any evidence whatsoever in the late 90's that television didn't completely suck it was Buffy: The Vampire Slayer and it's equally awesome spin-off Angel.  The show's creator, Joss Whedon, was a prolific and in-demand script doctor, and when Buffy launched, he used it as a sounding board for his unbridled creativity and single-handedly changed the way an entire generation spoke.  Phrases like "My Bad", "Bored Now" and "Morbid Much?" are all in our lexicon because of Whedon's amazing ability to manipulate language for comedic effect.

"Emblogification" is merely the word "blog" filtered through the mouths of Buffy's Scooby Gang.  

So, what was the purpose of the blog?  Well, "Mission Statements" are pretty popular in the business world nowadays, so before I go any further I'd like to set one down for the 'ole ECD.
  •  To prove to people that the job market sucked hardcore when I graduated from university in the mid-Nineties.  
  • To hopefully prove that the current job market doesn't suck.
  • To chronicle the bias our society seems to have against creative careers and talented people, despite how obviously important their works are to us collectively.   
  • To blow the lid off the sort of things that our neutered media doesn't want people to know about, lest they take to the street wielding pitchforks and torches like villagers from a Universal-era Frankenstein movie. 
  • To show that I posses an abject hatred for the greed of big business not because I'm some sort of crusader but because I've been consistently and thoroughly abused by corporate pinheads.
  • To see what happens when I flirt with career paths that I've always been told are impractical.
  • To trumpet the cause of those things that make life worth living: listening to good music, seeing live bands, taking in a decent movie, playing a social board game, being outdoors, spinning an engaging video game, hanging out with friends and family, reading a good book and watching some stimulating television.
  • To see if it's possible to get a second chance at career happiness at my advanced stage in life.
  • To put myself on a writing schedule to exhibit my ability to work consistently and with deadlines.  Even half-assed, self-imposed ones.  
  • To try and prove that I can string a sentence together.  I know, I know, the jury's still out on that one...
  • To hopefully show that if you put a lot of good karma out into the world in the form of volunteering and promotion you'll eventually be rewarded by someone with the power to do so.  
  • To chronicle my do-over as I try and avoid the hated career pitfalls I experienced back when I was eighteen.
  • To show that life is too short to do a job day in and day out that you hate.  
  • To prove that unemployed people don't just sit around all day watching daytime T.V., eating corn chips and masturbating. 
Hey, no cheap cracks!

So, with my Mission Statement now set out before me, I'm curious to see what the circumstances will be like when, and if, I ever pen my 200'th entry.

Will I finally be happy in my career or right back where I started?

Please, Gentle Readers, no wagering... 

Buffy the Vampire Slayer - The Complete First Season (Slim Set)Fables Of The Reconstruction 25th Anniversary

ADDITIONALLY EPIC:  A great moment for those who are already fans of the show...

FAIL:  In the spirit of truth in advertising, I think all Mission Statements need to incorporate the word "masturbation" somehow...

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