Sunday, July 4, 2010

"THIS is what I'm doing!"

Greetings, Patient Reader.

Ever since I left my job in the first week of April, I've had to field this question about a hojillion times:

"So, uh, whattaya gonna do now?"

People ask me this as if I'm MacGuyver locked in a concrete bunker with a live thermonuclear weapon ticking down to zero.  And they're calling the question in via short-wave radio from four-thousand miles away. 

For everyone thinking the same question, I humbly present to you my official answer via my horoscope for this week. 

Now I don't normally put a lot a credence in this sort of stuff but I've been reading Rob Brezny's "Free Will Astrology" column for years.  This is mainly through a process of osmosis.  I've digested every physical issue of Halifax's independent weekly paper "The Coast" from cover to cover since 1993 ( wherein his column has appeared as a permanent fixture since the beginning.

Now I only need to read something once to convince me never to read it again (I'm done with anything by Koshun Takami, for example).  But Brezsny keeps pulling me back, even if I think astrology is total bunk.

Besides, it's not like his horoscopes ever make any stupid, far-fetched Karnak-esque claims like:

"Avoid walking down Carter Avenue today unless you want something heavy to fall on you, like a piano or a safe."

In other words, there are never specifics.  What I do find in his column are esoteric but inspirational little pep talks like this:

"Let's do a check-in on your progress so far in 2010, Cancerian. The year's half over, and I'm wondering if you've been cashing in on the unique invitations that life has been sending your way. The way I understand it, you've been summoned to emerge from your hiding place and go wandering around in exotic and unfamiliar places. Events that in the past may have turned you inward toward thoughts of safety have in recent months nudged you out in the direction of the Great Unknown. Have you been honest enough with yourself to recognize the call to adventure? Have you been wild and free enough to answer the call? If not, I suggest you find it in yourself to do so. The next six months will be prime time to head out on a glorious quest."

So, to answer the nagging question: "What are you going to do now?" the answer is "I'm doing it."

Since the first week of April I've written close to fifty blog entries, edited five short travel videos (, appeared in a film (that is, if my a** ain't banished to the cutting room floor) and I'm just about to put the finishing touches on a website designed to promote a full-length novel I completed a while back.

I'm working harder than I ever have before.  The only difference is that I'm not feigning interest in some mundane task that's had every iota of personal input and fulfillment siphoned out of it by a faceless employer that sees me merely as an interchangeable cog in a massive, ethically bankrupt greed factory.

Now, I'm still a realist.  I'm still in the Honeymoon phase.  I know that one of these days I'll likely be forced to crawl back on all fours though that doggie door marked "SUPPLICANTS" and say to the suit and tie guy within: "Please sir, may I have another?"  But mercifully that's still a long way off.

I guess I'm just left with one question.  I know what I was put on this earth to do.  I'm doing it now.  But why is it it considered less legitimate in society's eyes for me to do what I'm currently doing for a living because I'm not being paid versus developing a nice l'il peptic ulcer in an overcrowded, foul-smelling, poorly lit call center year after year?

It's too bad we haven't reached the sort of "Star Trekkian" utopia where everyone is free to pursue self betterment, the arts and/or improvement for his or her fellow men without having to worry about chasing the almighty dollar.  I've literally met hundreds of creative and intelligent people slaving away in these modern gulags, watching with regret as their individual dreams and unique talents slowly atrophy over time from lack of encouragement and practice.  I call it the "Susan Boyle Factor" but any way to cut it, it's a friggin' waste...

Don't worry about me, folks.  I'll land on my own feet.

But sometime soon you may want to ask yourself:

"So, uh, what am I gonna do now?"

And hopefully you'll have an answer.  


FAIL:  Strong words here but a lot of good points.

1 comment:

Sarah Jay said...

Nicely put Dave :)