Sunday, June 13, 2010

The Sex Tester

Salutations, Kind Reader.

This one's from a few years back but it still gives me a chuckle...

So my girlfriend and I are in a mall standing outside a comic book shop. She spies one of those stupid "Sex Tester" machines, which allows the insecure and/or the vain to part with 25 cents to have their hopes and/or fears validated by random flashing lights.

"I gotta try that," says she.

She goes through the ritual: the laying of hands, the sacrifice of the quarter.

The lights dance for what seems like forever. I am rapt, attentive...yet more skeptical than Barbara Walters at a James Van Praagh psychic reading.

It finally comes to a stop.


She reels away from the devil machine, white as a sheet. My next move is inevitable, as sure as Van Helsing in the final reel of "Dracula".

The coin. The hand. The seizure-inducing display of lights.

It comes to rest...


Absolutely friggin' eerie.



Here's this week's comic:

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