Sunday, July 7, 2013

"And He-e-e-e-e-e-re's The Pitch..."

Greetings, Resplendent Readers!

Please excuse the following blatantly-obvious marketing ploy:


(1)  You dig Game of Thrones / A Song of Ice and Fire but you're tired of waiting for the next book and / or season to come out.  Well, like George R.R. Martin's venerable fantasy series, no character in Brother's Keeper is safe.  Unlike Martin I never use phrases like: "Will had felt as though something were watching him, something cold and implacable that loved him not” or "his cloak was his crowning glory; sable, thick and black and soft as sin."  "Soft as sin"?  Really, George?

(2) You're a fan of the Vikings television series.  Well, if you like Vikings, my book's got 'em in spades!  In fact, my book has PIRATES and even a few PIRATE-VIKINGS!  And let's face it, Pirate-Vikings are even cooler then Shapeshifting-Ninjas.

(3) It's got good reviews so far:

"Are you tired of reading the same old cookie cutter epic fantasy novels that are chalk full of those mundane 'fantasy ingredients'? Do you want to bite into a whole new fantasy tasty treat? Then this book is worth the read.

"Mr. Pretty has created a very in depth world filled with a rich history and dozens of complex characters who never fall in to the basic 'good or evil' category. Pretty is not afraid to tell this tale from the POV of some very unlikable, even immoral characters. As the plot progresses new truths will be revealed that will challenge your impressions and assumptions about their ethics. Your opinion of these characters will constantly change as Pretty takes them on a journey of a lifetime.

"A note of warning that this book is not for those of you who like the typically happy 'fantasy ending' is dark, gritty, and emotional. It is a risky move which I found pays off and serves the story as a whole."

- Amazon customer "Bria"


"After reading the first novel from David Pretty I got way more than I originally expected.  It is full of detailed description of characters and situations that actually make you feel as if you were right there with them.  The story line just seems to keep you reading as you feel like you know the characters and have a thriving need to know what happens to them next.  Also, the way the novel is written explains in detail how the characters are feeling at certain moments and the reader just feels like they are in that character's shoes.  One gets empathetic towards the characters almost instantly upon beginning to read.

"I personally recommend this read and look forward to more from this author.  Keep up the great work David and thanks for this awesome tale!"

- Amazon customer "Kevin"


"Great story, raw and gritty giving this fantasy a touch of reality.  Fun and exciting it kept me turning pages. I would love to see this as a movie.  The story is written with such detail making me feel like I was right there in the action.  I highly recommend this book to people who love fantasy but want a bit more, not the usual story with the usual ending... this is different from beginning to end.  Well done!"

- "Vine Voice" reviewer and fantasy novelist R.M. Putnam


"Extremely well-written, with a solid storyline and strong narrative arc - insightful, informative, entertaining and enlightening -  a book that is certainly worthy of greater national attention."

- Former Arts East editor Stephen Patrick Clare.

Do ya hear that, people?!?  "Worthy of greater national attention".  You, that right, youcan make that happen!

(4)  If the book does end up reaching "greater national attention" it'll have a tremendously positive  impact on my life.  Instead of doing some other job I have no interest or aptitude for, I might actually be able to finish the second Volume.  Plus, you can always tell people: "Yeah, I knew the dude who wrote that book long before he turned into an a$$hole.  Well, a professional a$$hole, I mean."

(5)  It's simple to buy and easy to read!  In fact, according to Amazon you can "start reading Brother's Keeper on your Kindle in under a minute"  Don't have a Kindle?  No problemo, just install the completely free Kindle Reading Ap and you can read my book (plus over a million more) on your Android phone or tablet, iPad, iPhone, Mac, Windows 8 PC or tablet, BlackBerry, Windows Phone or abacus.  Warning: Kindle Reading Ap does not work on an abacus.    

(6)  Buying my book instantly entitles the purchaser to act like a pretentious hipster douchebag.  If someone asks if you've read the latest New York Times bestseller you can sniff at them Mr. Furley-style and say: "Ugh, that Dan Brown stuff's sooooo lamestream.  I only support indie writers now.  Their stories are sooooo much more unconventional and daring.  They aren't creatively held back by the near-sighted whims of some fat-cat bean-counter."  Warning: showing assailants this blog entry provides no legal protection or recourse against physical assault.

(7)  You can brag that "the book was better" then the inevitable movie version.

(8)  If you've been reading free stuff here on my blog for years then this would be a great way to say "Thank You"!  Ahhhhhh, guilt, a weapon as devious as it is effective.

(9)  At this stage in the game your purchase is probably tax deductible.

(10)  Until the end of July you can get the e-book for only $2.99!  That's less then the price of a coffee and a muffin at Starbucks!  Or, just a coffee for that matter!

EPIC DREAMS   "Keep hope alive!"

EPIC FANTASY      Here's the link to both the paperback and e-version of mein book.   I'd be mighty grateful if you could help a brotha out...

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