Sunday, July 22, 2012

(Not) Just Another Day

Joyous Annum, Birthday Boys n' Girls!

Remember how you used to count down the days leading up to your birthday?  You just couldn't wait to grow up.

Eventually your big day would arrive and a cadre of your closest friends would come over to your house to eat hotdogs and chips, wear pointy hats and play party games.  Then you'd make a wish, blow out your candles and divvy-up a lard-based cake shaped conspicuously like Batman.  Then you'd open up all your gifts.  Mebbe you'd get a new Star Wars action figure ("OoooOooo, Lobot!") or an Atari video game cartridge ("Wow, Yar's Revenge!  Coooooool!).

It was a glorious day.  You were one step closer to independence.  One step closer to adulthood.  

Another year, another candle.  By the time your cake started to resemble a Cenobite and it was officially proclaimed a "fire hazard" by some wiseass who thought that this was an original joke, the novelty had already started to wear off.  Eventually you found yourself tip-toeing through the days leading up to your birthday, hoping not to hand your "friends" an opportunity to rave about how old and decrepit you've become.  Somewhere along the way, your birthday went from being a special occasion to representing how another year had slipped by without your childhood dreams coming true.

But I'm here to tell you in no uncertain terms: this isn't the right attitude.  Honestly, if you managed to muddle your way through yet another year on this giant, weird, confusing rock with your heart, mind and soul reasonably intact, then you've achieved something that's worth celebrating.

Recognize your birthday, people.  Even if you take yourself out to dinner.   Proclaim your special day from the rooftops.

Because the novelty shouldn't wear off something that's finite.

EPIC TUNE  Bjork: weird as f#@k but gifted with an absolutely amazing voice and a metric shit-ton of passion...


EPIC GAME  Play this on yer birthday to make it considerably less crappy:

FAIL  Notwithstanding the "artistry" of making poo look that real, I'm pretty sure the recipient felt compelled to drown themselves in a real commode not long after...

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