Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Why Don't You "Like" My Cat Video?

Hey, All Youze Social (Media) Butterflies.

In lieu of my discovery of Google + about a month ago, I haven't been on Facebook very much lately.  The TSN (Treasured Social Network) Turning Point occurred for me when I discovered the power of Google + Circles.  This happened a few weeks ago when someone I was following offered to share three-hundred people in his "Gaming" Circle with me.

Okay, lemme get this straight: if I agree to do this I'll immediately be connected with over three-hundred like-minded people who might actually be predisposed to what I'm writing about and (better yet) will post cool stuff that I have a vested interest in reading?  Hells yes, where do I sign up?     

Which brings me back to the Bookface.  Yeah, I still think it's a great tool to keep in touch with extended family members or people you hung around with in Grade Six.  But you also end up wading through a lot of posts and updates that end up revealing just how little you have in common with most of these people. 

And trust me, I know this road goes both ways.  I'm willing to wager that about 83% of my Facebook friends don't give a rat's ass that I just reviewed some dreadful Reefer Madness style T.V. movie about role-playing games.

So, I've come up with a little quiz just to save all of us a bit of time.  Without further ado here's:

DAVE'S "COME FOLLOW ME NOW" OR "DROP HIM LIKE HE'S HOT" SOCIAL MEDIA QUIZ

It's really simple, just record your answers to the following questions on a piece of scrap paper and use the handy-dandy scoring summary at the end to see where I rank.

Ready?  Okay, let's begin:

(1) Which of the following movies are you most predisposed to watch?

(A)  Battle Beyond the Stars  


(B)  Fight Club



(C)  The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants

(D) Jack and Jill




(E) Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen



(F) "None of them.  I really don't like movies."


(2) Of the following American political figures, who appeals to you the most? 

(A) Barack Obama
(B) Sarah Palin
(C) Ron Paul
(D) Mitt Romney
(E) Vermin Supreme
(E) John F. Kennedy
(G) "Huh?"

(3)  Who's the coolest vampire?

(A) Angel from Buffy the Vampire Slayer: 


(B) Count Orlok from Nosteratu:

(C) Edward Cullen in Twilight:


(D) Count Chocula from...um, breakfast

(E) David from The Lost Boys:
(F) Bela Lugosi from Dracula:

(G) "I honestly don't give a shit about vampires!"   


(4) Of the following contemporary Canadian politicians, who intrigues you the most? 

(A) John Baird
(B) Elizabeth May
(C) Steven Harper
(D) Justin Trudeau
(E)  Peter MacKay
(E)  Nycol Turmel 
(G) "The words 'intrigue' and 'Canadian politician' don't belong in the same sentence together." 

(5) What's your favorite table-top game amongst the following list?

(A) Trivial Pursuit 

(B) Risk
(C) Clue

(D) Dungeons & Dragons
(E) Settlers of Catan

(F) Monopoly 

(F) Memoir '44 

(G) "I really don't like those kind of games."

(6) The Facebook status update I enjoy the most is:

(A) "My six-year-old just learned how to smash atoms!"
(B) "Isn't this motivational poster incredibly clever?"
(C) "Hey, check out this cool / original / creative thing I just did!"
(D) "I need magical Monsterbane Arrows to protect the homestead! Don't leave me high and dry, bro!" 
(E)  Anything posted by George Takei.  
(F)  "My cat Mr. Tinkles learned to Riverdance...watch and be amazed!
(G) "I loathe Facebook."   

(7)  Pick your favorite band amongst the following options:

(A) Iron Maiden 

(B) Nickelback
(C) Rage Against The Machine
 

(D) Broken Social Scene
(E) The Ramones 
(F) Led Zeppelin 
(G) Rise Against

(H) "I really don't like that kind of music."

(8) Which of the following books are you most likely to read? 

(A) The Secret by Rhonda Byrne
(B) 1984 by George Orwell
(C) Dead Until Dark by Charlaine Harris
(D) The Eye of the World by Robert Jordan
(E) Trainspotting by Irvine Welsh
(F) "Does Guns & Ammo magazine count?"
(G) "I don't like to read."

(9) Which of the following television programs are you most likely to watch?

(A) The Wire
(B) Big Bang Theory
(C) Battlestar Galactica
(D) Battlestar Galactica
(E) Jersey Shore
(F) Toddlers & Tiaras

(G) "I really don't watch much television." 

(10) What is your favorite song amongst the following options:

(A)  "Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)" by Beyonce
(B)  "Dirty Bit" by The Black Eyed Peas
(C)  "The Lazy Song" by Bruno Mars
(D)  "Sexy & I Know It" by LMFAO
(E)  "Whip My Hair" by Willow Smith
(F)  "You're Beautiful" by James Blunt
(G)  "Friday" by Rebecca Black
(H)  "Red Solo Cup" by Toby Keith
(I)  "Heartbreaker" by Mariah Carey
(J)  "Are you f#@$*&^g kidding me?!?" 







***








SCORING

(1) A - 40 points, B - 50 points, C - 10 points, D - 0 points, E - 20 points, F - minus 10 points.

(2) A - 10 points, B - 0 points, C- 20 points, D - 0 points, E - 20 points, F - 40 points, G -
      minus 10 points.

(3) A - 20 points, B - 50 points, C - 0 points, D - 10 points,  E - 30 points, F - 40 points, G - 30 points.

(4) A - 0 points, B - 40 points, C- 0 points, D - 30 points, E - 0 points, F - 20 points, G - 10 points.

(5) A - 10 points, B - 20 points, C - 10 points, D - 50 points, E - 30 points, F - 0 points, G - 40 points,
      H - minus 10 points.

(6) A - 0 points, B - 0 points, C - 40 points, D - minus ten points, E - 30 points, F - 0 points, G -20
     points.

(7) A - 30 points, B - 0 points, C - 50 points, D - 40 points, E - 50 points, F - 40 points, G - 10 points,
      H - minus 10 points.

(8) A - 0 points, B - 50 points, C - 30 points, D- 20 points,  E- 40 points, F- 10 points, G - minus 10
      points.

(9) A- 50 points, B- 20 points, C - 40 points, D - 20 points, E - 0 points, F - minus ten points, G - 30
     points.

(10)  A to H - 0 points,  I - 30 points ( I know!  It's a sickness!), J - 40 points.

***


TOTALS

-70 to 0 points:  "Hello oil, my name is water!"  You might as well de-Friend me immediately.
1 to 100 points:  My posts will probably be as useful to you as a screen door on a submarine.
101-200 points:  50% of what I post you'll tolerate.  The other 50% will probably piss you off.
201-300 points:  Get to know me!!!
301-400 points:   Separated at birth.
401-500+ points:  To hell with social media, we should just move in together.  Hold on, I'll ask my wife if it's okay...

EPIC  It's more then okay to be Takei.

FAIL  If you recognize yourself in any of these, for the love of God, please stop.

1 comment:

Dak Ultimak said...

I got 370 on your little survey, no shittin'. But no, you don't have to ask your wife for anything. I ain't moving to Canadia.