So, Kind Reader, I present to you...
DAVE'S TOP TEN LIST OF BIZARRE, INTERESTING AND SUPER-COOL THINGS THAT WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED TO ME IF I HADN'T LEFT MY LAST CRAPPY JOB:
- Brandishing a blood-covered collapsible camping shovel against a S.W.A.T. cop who has an M16 pointed at my face.
- Having actor Rutger "Roy Batty" Hauer ask me: "I'm sorry, but could you simplify your question just a bit?"
- Being unfairly chewed out by a ten-year-old girl over stage directions.
- Sitting in the apartment of a prominent member of a local comedy troupe with just him and his cat, hoping against hope that other volunteers show up as promised and alleviate the crushing awkwardness.
- Nearly being trampled by the town-marshall of Tombstone.
- Jason Priestley trying to convince me that accomplished but world-weary actor John Hurt is "Really, really funny. Honest, like...funny. All the time!"
- Having a perfectly normal conversation with an attractive young couple wearing nothing but life jackets. Er, them, not me...
- Getting applause from reading my poetry in front of a gathering of about twenty people. Bless you, you sweet, charitable souls...
- Only getting to ask one question during a film-maker's Q&A session then getting my own personal Q&A session while driving the same director to the airport two nights later. (Thanks for being patient, Richard!)
- Dropping off a model/actress and her equally attractive friend off at her hotel, parking the car and being stopped by a Newfoundlander in the lobby who asked me: "Jesus, buddy, was' yer secret? Lemme guess...you're hung like a bull moose?" Classy.